Why am I soooo disappointed?!?!

well today is the 6th day i have been at this "im going to lose weight" thing. I didn't weight myself until i was on day two. I has thought i weighted 289lbs and then when i weighted myself on day two and found that i weighted 295.9lbs i was more determined. one day three i weighed 290 and then on day four i weighted 289.5 and now i weight the same again....i maybe need to walk a bit faster when i am walking push myself a bit more...maybe not stroll so much and turn it more into a power walk....i don't know i just know that today i am frustrated...that is sooo dumb i don't know what i expect everyday...i KNOW i am not going to have a lose everyday...i have yet committed to eating totally healthy but i would have to say yesterday i ate the healthiest i have...maybe what i think is healthy isn't...for breakfast i had a cup of cheerios with a banana and skim milk and about 10 raisins....lunch i made sauted red cabbage mixed with peas and a little ham and garlic ( that was really good even my husband ate it) and then dinner i had made the sour kroute (sp) soup...which is just 2 can of sour kroute(sp) and 2 cans of kidney beans and diced ham....i drank all my water and then some and I did a 30min walk...so i thought for sure i would see a loss and then nothing...OK OK OK i know it is OK...but why am i feeling soooo very down about it. I am still going to go on my walk today but i have to say it makes it harder..

i have to weight my self eveyday else i will REALLY slip...it is kinda like a gut check...

i dont know...

going to lose 140lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK so here it is for all that cares to see>>>i kinda cant believe that i am posting this here on my blog but i kinda feel like i need to!today i am 289lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!! holy crud that is way too close to 300!!! i never in one million years thought that i would be that BIG, this is by far the biggest i have ever ever been in my entire life. For myself, my husband, and my children i can not be this any more! i HAVE to lose this weight else i will end up just like my Mother and dead at 45. I do not think that is in the cards for me as that is not what i want for me or my family! so i decided yesterday that to start ( I'm going to start slow so i stick with it) i am going to walk everyday now i am going to shoot for 30min a day but some days i might not get that all in and that is OK. I just HAVE to get up and at least go out and walk something. So yesterday it was really cold 22 outside but i did it. as i started to get ready Zebediah begged and begged to go so i gave in. Needless to say this was not a great walk, walking with a six year old and a dog in a coat that he doesn't want to be wearing (will post pictures later) but we logged in 12 min. i know NOTHING wonderful but it was more then i normally do. Today i went out and walked 35 min. I know that this is again not HUGE but they are steps in the right direction. I'm excited!!!!!!!!!! But i am scared! I am going to really lose the weight this time. And it might come off really slow but that is OK. It is going to come off. I will keep ya ( who ever ya is) posted. I am not changing my eating habits as of yet, but i will. i just need to get a hold on the walking thing first. I am hoping to turn this into a running thing. I hope to get a joy for running. Zebediah has decided that i get to have every other day to myself ad the other days we are going to go together. that will still be nice!