Why am I soooo disappointed?!?!

well today is the 6th day i have been at this "im going to lose weight" thing. I didn't weight myself until i was on day two. I has thought i weighted 289lbs and then when i weighted myself on day two and found that i weighted 295.9lbs i was more determined. one day three i weighed 290 and then on day four i weighted 289.5 and now i weight the same again....i maybe need to walk a bit faster when i am walking push myself a bit more...maybe not stroll so much and turn it more into a power walk....i don't know i just know that today i am frustrated...that is sooo dumb i don't know what i expect everyday...i KNOW i am not going to have a lose everyday...i have yet committed to eating totally healthy but i would have to say yesterday i ate the healthiest i have...maybe what i think is healthy isn't...for breakfast i had a cup of cheerios with a banana and skim milk and about 10 raisins....lunch i made sauted red cabbage mixed with peas and a little ham and garlic ( that was really good even my husband ate it) and then dinner i had made the sour kroute (sp) soup...which is just 2 can of sour kroute(sp) and 2 cans of kidney beans and diced ham....i drank all my water and then some and I did a 30min walk...so i thought for sure i would see a loss and then nothing...OK OK OK i know it is OK...but why am i feeling soooo very down about it. I am still going to go on my walk today but i have to say it makes it harder..

i have to weight my self eveyday else i will REALLY slip...it is kinda like a gut check...

i dont know...

going to lose 140lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK so here it is for all that cares to see>>>i kinda cant believe that i am posting this here on my blog but i kinda feel like i need to!today i am 289lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!! holy crud that is way too close to 300!!! i never in one million years thought that i would be that BIG, this is by far the biggest i have ever ever been in my entire life. For myself, my husband, and my children i can not be this any more! i HAVE to lose this weight else i will end up just like my Mother and dead at 45. I do not think that is in the cards for me as that is not what i want for me or my family! so i decided yesterday that to start ( I'm going to start slow so i stick with it) i am going to walk everyday now i am going to shoot for 30min a day but some days i might not get that all in and that is OK. I just HAVE to get up and at least go out and walk something. So yesterday it was really cold 22 outside but i did it. as i started to get ready Zebediah begged and begged to go so i gave in. Needless to say this was not a great walk, walking with a six year old and a dog in a coat that he doesn't want to be wearing (will post pictures later) but we logged in 12 min. i know NOTHING wonderful but it was more then i normally do. Today i went out and walked 35 min. I know that this is again not HUGE but they are steps in the right direction. I'm excited!!!!!!!!!! But i am scared! I am going to really lose the weight this time. And it might come off really slow but that is OK. It is going to come off. I will keep ya ( who ever ya is) posted. I am not changing my eating habits as of yet, but i will. i just need to get a hold on the walking thing first. I am hoping to turn this into a running thing. I hope to get a joy for running. Zebediah has decided that i get to have every other day to myself ad the other days we are going to go together. that will still be nice!

test run at blogging

well there is going go be TONS of errors in this blog.(because i am a horrible speller and dont take the time to correct, maybe as i write these more and more i will get better at that, but no promises) Anyways, that is not the point. I have just decided to start blogging since i have discovered that i really enjoy writing. I found that out because i have decided to write a book, which is kinda coming along. I also really enjoy reading other peoples blogs. I guess most of them make me realizing that there are sooo many people out there going thru life having to face tons of challenges and also the joys of life. Makes the world seem bigger. It also makes it more livable. This will be a mix of what is going on in my families lives. How i feel about situations, and how i feel about things that are going on in my life. I am new at this soooo, please understand that. I hope that i keep up with this, we will see!!!